As soon as the engagement happens you may want to do wedding stuff like dress shopping and venue shopping, but one thing you should not do right away is your guest list. I suggest waiting until the excitement levels out after a few weeks before doing your guest list. If you have the burning desire to start the list, whatever you do, do not send save the dates to anyone in the “maybe” column.
Doing your guest list soon after you’ve gotten engaged is essentially adding at least 20 more people to your list that needn’t be at your wedding. Truth be told – you’re the popular kid when you get engaged. Excitement shown by someone about your engagement does not make this person your friend. If you were friends 10 years ago and you’ve lost touch it’s likely the guest(s) would actually prefer to not be invited. Can you blame them? Think about it, how much fun can it be to be the person at the wedding with little to no connection to the couple’s world? Unless you have people you know just like a good party and couldn’t care less who or what it’s for, which then, is a whole other issue. I say, let wedding crashers take up seats at other weddings, not at mine.
Another decision about your guest list is whether or not to invite single guests with a plus one. There are different viewpoints. Two questions I recommend considering are “does this guest know other guests” and “is this person dating anyone?” In the case the guest knows no one, I would lean toward inviting then with a plus one whether dating someone or not. However, if the person knows a bunch of other guests and is not dating anyone, I do not see a plus one for them as a necessary addition to your guest or your budget. If your guest is dating someone seriously, without a doubt welcoming their plus one is appropriate.
There is also the decision of whether to invite your work colleagues. This is a tough one. First, think about if you are able to hand pick who you want to invite versus feeling like if you invite one you have to invite all. I suggest evaluating your relationship with the people you work with if you are considering inviting them to your wedding. Often our work relationships are close, but in a professional sense rather than personal in which you need to decide how intimate you want your wedding to be as well as if you are crossing a boundary with your colleague he or she does not wish to be crossed. Do you mix business with pleasure when it comes time for your wedding? As with most things in life, it all depends on the situation.
All that matters is who you want to there to share your special day with you and your partner. The guest list rule I had from the get-go was if someone is very important to us, my fiance and I, or our families, then I want them at our wedding. I rather spend less on the flowers, less on the video and more on what matters – the people who have made us and our families who we are. It’s friends and family that have given love and support to us and our loved ones throughout our lives that’s priceless unconditional love. That’s what our wedding and marriage is about to us.
- Strangers at your Wedding? (poshweddingblog.wordpress.com)
- Overseas weddings on the rise (confused.com)
- ARA: How to handle ‘plus ones’ at weddings (timesunion.com)