Item #4 Bridal Party

Soon after we got engaged, something I’d been looking forward for years came to life: picking my bridal party. As a girl who dressed up as a bride for Halloween as a little girl, read chick lit, watched chick flicks, and shared all of the times with my many girlfriends growing up, how do I pick the few to stand beside me at my wedding? Knowing how much us brides impose on our best friends is difficult, especially because there’s not much of an alternative and it’s part of wedding traditions. It’s basically expected.

Since I was a teenager, dreaming about my wedding was about getting married and getting to have my closest friends make up my bridal party. It always made me curious to see who would end up being a bridesmaid or maid of honor. I always knew who I wanted to stand beside me, but there were a few things I had to consider before asking them to be in my wedding party. I had to ask myself if our relationship was of the same significance as it was in the past, if it was realistic for them to travel to and from New York for the wedding and possibly bridal shower because of their own personal obligations (such as being 9 months pregnant at the wedding), was I comfortable imposing the cost of a dress along with any other costs on them, and if they were in the party, did that offend anyone else that I may care for equally, but have a different level of closeness? At a certain point, just like anything else, I went with what felt right.

If you’ve ever been a bridesmaid, you probably have said to yourself, “Is she serious, I have to buy that dress?” or “Another email or request, she thinks the world revolves around her wedding!” Okay, well maybe not everyone, but I’d bet many of you know what I’m talking about! The truth is no matter how much the bride or groom mean to you, the honor you feel to play an important role in their wedding or how much fun some parts of their wedding is, being part of a bridal party can be a real pain. Some bridesmaids even may want to quit, and I’m sure some brides feel they want to take away the role from a bridesmaid who seems burdened by the job. Wedding Paper Divas even asked their Facebook followers if it was ever okay to “un-ask” a bridesmaid. People’s comments are awesome. Personally, I say if a bride or a bridesmaid feels burdened, or that they’re causing burden, then it’s probably time to remove a bridesmaid from the bridal party. A wedding should be for the bride and her bridesmaids a time of excitement and honor, and definitely not a burden. As a bride, it’s not easy to feel a reliance on friends or even family to make your wedding dreams come true, but if you stay grounded, remembering these people care, it becomes easier to communicate your hopes and dreams to them.

Lucky for me, my bridesmaids, maid of honor and matron of honor are friends who have been there and always will be there, even though it’s not an easy job!

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• Let the Bridal Party Begin! (fabsugar.com)
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• The Bridesmaid Guide (chroniclebooks.com)
• DIY Wedding: Choosing The Wedding Party- Bridesmaid Edition (thektdid.com)
• If You Were Asked to Get a Cosmetic Treatment For a Wedding, Would You Do It? (bellasugar.com)
• If You’re in a Wedding, What Do You Expect the Bride to Pay For? (bellasugar.com)